Thursday, May 19, 2011

The long story of how I started

My husband got out of the army in Nov. He was injured in Iraq and not able to do the physical things anymore. We moved back to our home town and stayed with my grandma till our taxes came and we could pay for a deposit and rent for a couple of months for a place for ourselves. We moved in and shortly after my husband started school via the GI Bill (they will also give you a housing allowance while you are in school). I applied for TN food stamps and Medicaid since none of us was working and he was denied unemployment because he is going to school and not able to work full time. We were denied all benefits. During the move from our home at Fort Bragg I lost track of DDs birth certificate and we did not have the 24$ to pay for a new one and our children do not have shot records for religious reason so we were denied everything. I tried to call our caseworker over and over and left letters and such for her but she never got back with me so I called the 800 hotline and was told our case is still pending but I could apply for presumptive Medicaid since I was 8 months pregnant at the time. 
Two weeks later I feel in the yard on my stomach on top of ODS in the rain and starting having contractions and pain. ODS ran inside and got DH. He ran out and helped me up. I thought everything was okay and I just needed to rest and things would be fine. But an hour later I was still in pain to stand, bend, or anything but lay down. So we went into the ER and they did a couple of test and thankfully everything was okay and my contractions stopped. 
I went into labor at 7pm a week later (well started having constant contractions) and called my grandma to come to watch the kids at 1am. We got to the hospital at 3am and got checked in about 3:30. They were surprised I was doing so well (or so they said) with my "pain" because I was 5 cms 60% efaced and at station -1. I was not having pain just uncomfortable tightenings (and it was only uncomfortable at the peaks). By 4:30am I was 6cm but same efacements and such. The contractions continued and about 5-5:30 my water broke. They came and checked me again a couple of hours later (my contractions were dying off) and I had went bake down to a 4-5cm they said they thought they still felt some of the water bag that it might be a top leak. They started talking about options to get my labor going (by the way the "on call dr" since I dine thane a dr was a set of residents and one attending) and all was ways to augment labor. I asked about walking, standing, and such and they said no since my water had already broke (they as in the nurse and one resident) when another resident came in to talk to me I asked about walking cause she mentioned it and shie said she would talk to the nurse and attending to make sure but shedidnt have a problem with it. The nurse came back in with an attitude (lol she didn't get her way cause I had an "alternative" friendly attending thankfully) and un hooked me. She said I could walk rightinfrontof my room for 30 mns come and have the baby's heart rate checked and then go for another 30 mins. So I got up and went about my way. On the second time walking I was only out about 8mins and the nurse said I needed to come back to bed that one of the residents had called the dr over the attending dr and she was coming to look at me. It was about 1pm at this time. She came in and checked me said she could feel water bag that it had not broke I just had the top leak and she broke my water with out asking and put in an internal contraction monitor with permission as well. She said my baby is now at risk andI could eier get pit to start having contractions again (even though as soon as she broke my water I had another contraction) or they would take me for a c-section. (My mom had come up to the room about 10am and she was against all my wishes cause the drs know best and labor is to hard for my body to go through alone. And my husband had told me he would not give any input in what to do cause he didn't want me to be upset with what I chose if it was what he suggested.) So here I was alone with no one listening to me and everyone thinking I was crazy for my wishes (esp my nurse who had no bedside manner and thought that pit and an epi was the only way to do it and I should never get out of bed) except the attending and someone went over his head (the nurse said it was a resident but when the attending came in while the head dr was there he asked what was going on and said he was just eating lunch and coming right back [he was mad for what they had done we had already talked about birthing in a differnent position other than on my back, kangaroo wrapping after birth, and all that] and she said well it was time to call her anyway so I let her know what was going on). So I gave in and got the pit, I felt like I had no other choice. Even after all my research, plannng, and everything else everything was going against me and I was losing (by the way the attending didn't come in till after I cave and she out the pit on). I just cried and the drs looked at me asked if the contractions were hurting and I said no and they just all thought I was crazy (at this point it was the residents [all but one, the one that delivered Geo and seemed to really like and appreciate the attending] and head dr). After 45-60 mins the contractions started hurting (like I knew they would cause every time I had it with my others I was in instant pain) and I told the nurse to go ahead and get the epi before it got to bad cause I knew I would not be able to deal with it. I cried the whole time, and my mom and nurse kept asking what was wrong and all I could say was nothing. My husband looked at me with a look saying he was sorry and came and told me that he thinks I made the right choice with what was going on cause he knew neither of us could do with me going through a c-section. It took forever to get the epi done cause between the growing painful contractions and crying it was hard to be still for him to deal with. When we finally got it done my back was hurting really bad to lay down but they said it was all I was allowed to do. It finally started to kick in and I could still feel the pressure of the contractions which I was thankfull for because I couldn't with the other kids. When he got real low I told my mom to call the nurse (she was looking at the monitor cause of course I didn't exist anymore) and she asked why I said I need to push (it was the only time it didn't "hurt". I could feel everything in the canal/pelvis area just not my legs, butt, and abs). The nurse came in followed by the resident and attending then a nurse for baby. They checked me and said my cervix was still postior and on one side I still had half a cm left of dilation. He (the attending the resident was a female) said if they emptied my bladder they think it would make room for the dialatoin and my cervix to move, so they quick cathed and emptied it into a cup and took it out (wt least I didn't constantly have one). He let me have about 5 more ctx and cheek again and said it worked. The nur started yelling at me to push. Then when I was pushing said I wasn't doing it right. She told me don't breath push for 10 and then do it 3 more times. When I tried to do that I almost passed out and went to catch my breath and she yelled at me again. So until the ctx was done I did what she said. Then the dr had me switch how I was laying cause the nurse had argued with him about my delivering anyway but on my back but when he could tell for sure that Geo was facing the wrong way (just like the rest of my kids) he said no we are going to do it this way. She started yelling at me again when the monitor said I was having a contraction to push even though I had no feeling to. I am guessing that the internal came out or something because she stopped yelling at me unless she looked down and saw me pushing and by that point I was determined to ignore her, she was just making things worse, and focusing on the ctx, DH, and the drs. I pushed and breathed and started to feel him crowning. The resident asked if I wanted to feel it to which I told her no, and the attending let her know that I said that I didn't want to do that or hold him to he was clean (I tried with DS1 and almost threw up on him I am just not good with blood and such). I started to push again and felt his face get stuck and started grunting/maybe even screaming cause the pain and as soon as his head passed I felt releif until the DR started yelling for help and more drs. The cord appeared to be wrapped around his neck and that his shoulders were stuck (like with DD) and fear just ran through me. They told me not to push which was hard. Thankfully the cord was just over his should and as soon as they got it loose everything was okay again they said his shoulders weren't stuck and I could push again. Two pushed later he was here. He screamed right away with perfect lungs (both my other children had to have oxygen). They wrapped him up and he went right to sleep. I was not able to hold him for over an hour because my placenta came apart, there was part of the bag of fluid still in, and they thought I had hemorrhaged (thankfully it was right short of one and stopped bleeding by itself). I didn't get an episiotomy, but did have a 2nd degree tear. After I was done with stitching and all i was finally able to hold my sweet 8 lb, 20.5 inch long baby boy, and I again just cried. After everything that went wrong and against my wishes he was healthy and here. 
Geo had not peed in a day and only twice the day before so we called the Dr and he said take him to the childrens hospital. He is very dehydrated. I tried to pump just to find I'm not making even an once every 2-3 hours. So I have been starving my son. He has faithfully been trying to eat and getting nothing. He is hooked to and IV and getting formula to supplement the mesily amount I can pump for him. I am trying eating oatmeal and my husband is going to get me some fenugreek but he might not be a titty baby. To me its devistating and heartbreaking but my husband doesnt quiet get it. We bottle feed ODS so he doesnt see why its so upsetting to me. The main thing that gets me is I am the one that put him in here and in such a bad state. They said we will probably go home Monday but unless my supply goes up by then we will just be doing bottles cause I just got done pumping and its just a quarter of an once. 
He has had a couple of apnea spells where he will stop breathing for thirty or so secs and turn blue head to toe and scare me. We do not have insurance so I have been putting off going to the dr hoping it was just a one pr two time thing but one the fourth time it was just to much so I took him to the Dr. He is concerned and sent us back to the hospital. They said if it's just reflex he will be on a heart monitor because of the apnea but if it's something else we need to know.
While at the hospital they did several test (blood panel, LP [said that sepsis could cause it as well and they don't want it to have crossed over to his brain], EKG, and milk study) and put him on zantec. He did it once in the hospital but not as bad as it had been. He has not done it again since he has been on the meds. I was not able to afford the me so they gave me a voucher four one month but I have to start paying for it next month. 
We went to the follow up the next week and the DR was happy that he had not had another episode. But he now has a double ear infection. They sent me to Shnucks because they give free antibiotics and I was able to see the DR at least. They saw us despite the lack of insurance and we have to figure out a way to pay them. 
I went for an interview for insurance (Medicaid) this week and the lady said that she still thinks we should not get insurance and she will fight my appeal if it comes back that we get it because they do not know what they are talking about. 
I got a letter today from the appeal saying that the ruling is that the caseworker did not do her job and she should contact me by phone and mail and basically do her job and go back to the file date and resubmit it. So I'm not sure where we stand anymore. 
So now that we have 20k$ in hospital and DRs bills I am trying to sell some of the things that I can crochet and such to help pay for these bills. All profits will go directly to the bills that have been acquired. 

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